Goldfish

goldfish goldfish goldfish...

So I am kinda bored of classes. Even though just yesterday I was in love with my classes. This just happens every semester. I start out so well and then after midterms I feel like I just can't take it any more.

All of my classes are about communication and conflict management in business organizations, families and marriages. I want to stop reading and start doing...even though the applying part is the hardest part...i just want to explore and experiment on my own instead of reading about theories and such. Too bad I really can't neglect my homework or the kajillion papers I have to write because if I did then that would translate into lazy and lazy is not what I am aiming for.

I feel like I am stuck inside so much, facing a computer screen all day long so that all I want to do is get out once and a while and smell the roses....even though they are all dead right now. I just don't want to miss out on enjoying life. It's hard because I truly value my education but I feel like at the same time it is crunching my freedom. Maybe I just need an attitude adjustment...cuz that sounds like a total paradox....but I can't help that I have the attention span of a gold fish on days like these!

If I truly were a fish...I would be longing to explore other bowls of water. Bigger bowls where other plants, rocks and creatures live and have different environments and experiences...but I don't jump out of the water because I feel safe and know the bowl I am in is where I belong. & you know...there must be some reason other than their color that Goldfish are called GOLDfish....gold traditionally represents preciousness, faith, strength, healing and blessing. Interesting no?

So what does my life stand for? What am I representing? The Natural man? Maybe. Christ? Well I am trying to.

So about that....I guess I will just have to work on developing that vibrant faith thing I've been told about. it will probably come in handy now as well as in times to come....like when i actually have big important things worries about. Important things such as raising children of God.

Mosiah 3:19 it's a good one.

See i even look like a goldfish! Just add water.

Postscript: So we may or may not have gone Christmas Shopping today even though we planned on going this weekend. It just made me too happy! How's that for jumping outside of the bowl??

Postscript x 2: I have the best husband in the world. Thanks for putting up with my antics. love u.